Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Sex Positions by the Book

I’ve been wondering why so many books are published about sex positions. My own professional library includes the Kama Sutra; the Cookie Sutra (gingerbread cookies having sex); books with positions during pregnancy; for arthritis sufferers; for straight, gay and lesbian couples; for people into kink…just to name a few.

I highly value sexuality education — some people need help figuring out how to work around arthritic joints, pelvic pain, disabilities, pregnant bellies, or hip replacements. And I’ve consulted with people new to the game who wanted ideas about sexual possibilities prior to having partnered sex for the first time.

But wouldn’t it be great if everyone without specific health concerns felt free to toss out the manuals and enjoy the process of experimenting? After all, it shouldn’t matter whether you know the name “Reverse Cowgirl” if you already enjoy the woman-on-top-facing-her-partner’s-feet position.

The U.S. is one of the most sexually conservative Western cultures in the world, despite our highly sexualized media. As a result of this conservatism, we have distressingly high rates of unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted infection. Shame, embarrassment, poor body image and performance anxiety are a nasty mix that keeps people from fully enjoying their sexuality. The concerns people express to me often relate to issues like these: “How do I know if I’m doing it right?” “How can I tell if my partner enjoys what I’m doing?” “If I don’t orgasm every time, will my partner stop trying?” “How can I get my partner to…?” “Do women really like that position where we…?”

In most cases, the answers can be found through experimentation. If you do A, and your partner moans with delight, you can bet you’re “doing it right.” If you and your partner talk during lovemaking – or at a neutral time before or after – you’ll learn the answers to the other questions. A playful attitude can go a long way, too. If you’ve always wanted to try having sex standing against a wall, go for it! You just need a partner and a wall – you’ll figure out the mechanics once you take your height differential into account and face each other, then both face the wall, or support a leg on a nearby chair, or not. You get my point. Sex position drawings can give you a hint of what’s possible: The rest is up to you, your partner, your creativity, and at times, your flexibility.

Toss out the shoulds, the oughts, and the doubts, and focus on what feels good for both of you. If a new position feels awkward, shift your weight, move your limbs differently, lean forward or back…and if it still doesn’t turn you on, chalk it up as a position that just doesn’t interest you, at least for now. If a position causes either of you to feel pain other than a little strain from stretching unfamiliar muscles, visit your doctor because painful intercourse can be a sign of potentially serious health problems.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Sex during pregnancy

In normal case, sex is safe during all stages of pregnancy. The baby in the womb will remain safely protected by the amniotic sac and will be completely secure within the muscles of the uterus. Thick mucus seals the opening of the cervix and guards the foetus from external infections. The penis will not come into direct contact with the foetus when engaged in sex. However, open communication between the partners is extremely important to ensure a safe and satisfactory sexual relationship during pregnancy. There is no harm in engaging in sex if there is absolutely no pregnancy related complication. Never hesitate to talk to your doctor whether your pregnancy fall under the ‘normal’ section.

However, majority of the expectant mothers does not find sex interesting due to internal hormonal fluctuations. Some avoid sex due to the difficultly posed by their enlarged body. During the later months of pregnancy women will be pre-occupied with thoughts of the impending labour and the thrill of motherhood. Methods of showing intimacy such as kissing, caressing and holding each other will be beneficial, as it will provide mental support to the mother-to-be.

Sex should be strictly avoided if your partner has a history of sexually transmitting diseases. The infection will harm not only the mother but her foetus as well. Doctors will warn you against sexual intercourse if they anticipate any dangerous consequence. It is wise for women with a history of miscarriage or pre-term labour to keep away from sex. Women who suffer from amniotic fluid leakage or unexplained vaginal bleeding also should discard sex during pregnancy. Women who have the threat of Placenta pravia should also keep away from sexual intercourse. Here, the placenta gets lowered and the cervix gets covered. Sex also might be harmful to women who have conceived multiple foetuses. Incompetent cervix is yet another threat that might lead to a miscarriage, if sex is done. It is a condition in which the cervix gets weakened and prematurely opens up.

Those Old Sex Positions: Classic & Effective!

Between the sheets, some men have problems setting records for long-lasting lovemaking. While others have a hard time getting their partners to climax. Well, guess what -- I've put together a list of some fantastic sex positions. These sex positions are sure to fulfill your particular sexual mission, which should include giving your lucky lady some unadulterated pleasure. Please note that while these sex positions might not be the most exciting, actually they're pretty basic, they prove that you don't have to be a yoga expert to get off.

Her on top
If you're lucky enough to have a girlfriend who says to you, "Sometimes, I just want to be the chick in charge," you better let her take control of the situation and enjoy the ride. The female-superior sex position is perfect to assume when your partner is feeling energetic and playful. When the woman takes control, she decides whether she wants an orgasm via her clitoris or her G-spot, as both types of orgasms are attainable through this position. For a guaranteed clitoral orgasm, ask her to lean her torso forward, arch her back, and keep her crotch near the base of your penis.

Instead of the usual up and down movement, try lateral jerks to really hit the spot and increase sensitivity. Pulling yourself upright and hugging her tight for that special heart-to-heart moment is an added bonus with this sex position.

To maximize her chances of G-spot stimulation, get her to lean back on her hands. Assuming this sex position will persuade her to ride your sexual organ up and down as well as capitalize on all the awkward angles, which will hit her love button.

Her sitting
Your week was long, you just had a romantic dinner with red wine, and if you played your cards right, she wants to get it on in a hurry. Believe it or not, but women are often in the mood for a quick fix instead of a long, drawn-out, mushy love fest. To start this sex position right, lift her up onto the countertop and let her assume the spread-eagle position. Now, you should be standing in front of her to enter; the angle and thrust force provided by this sex position creates mega-heat in a minimal amount of time.

Intercourse in this sex position should get her excited in a hurry through G-spot stimulation. Although it maximizes your chances of getting her aroused, remember that you will be vulnerable to premature ejaculation. Due to the angle, the head of your penis will rub her inner body in such way that it will be hard to control your orgasm.

Yet another benefit from this unconventional sex position will be the novelty factor. Assuming this no-holds-barred approach will add to the spontaneity factor of having sex outside the bedroom. It could make the whole experience more pleasurable.

Missionary position
The missionary position is the most conventional position and, let's not deny it, we all like this oldie-but-goodie. This sex position allows for, among other things, a special feeling of closeness between you and your partner. The comfort of the bedroom is also enjoyable, since that's where most of us like to kick back and relax after a good love-making session.

Other physical rewards are non-stop kissing, touching and eye-gazing -- it's like a whole body massage, inside and out. Because the missionary position is a very intimate experience, you might want to try something different when you're having sex with someone you don't particularly love.

Finally, because the missionary position is very ordinary, that does not mean that it can't be extraordinary. Put some swivel in your hips when plunging in and out. Remember that your entry angle will really make the difference between a memorable performance and an average one.
sex you up
Although the information listed above can vary from one couple to another, in general, every position serves a purpose. In the second part of this article , I discuss three more positions and explain why and when they should be performed.

As a side note, if you would like to intensify your sexual experiences, try one of these products: Herbal Vibes RX and Penis Pro. I discovered these herbal products purely by chance, and decided to share their potential value with you.

Cosmo Sex Expert

Cosmopolitan magazine quoted me in the new issue, September 2008, in two articles. The more interesting of the two is an article about having sex against the wall (p. 154-156). It took sheer genius by the writer to stretch that topic for a full article. I was interviewed extensively via email and phone about every aspect imaginable about how to have sex against a wall, what it would feel like to have sex against the wall, and how to improve sex against the wall. I had a silly exchange with my favorite Cosmo fact-checker when she asked me to okay the following quote: “Guys love to feel powerful, and since he has you pinned against the wall, he’s in complete control of the pace and depth of his thrusting.” I asked her to change my quote to “Some guys…” instead of just “Guys…” because obviously not all guys love to feel powerful. The fact checker asked if they could make it, “Most guys…” I told her that I really wanted it to read “Some guys…” I need to make sure that weak guys everywhere have a voice. And sure enough, Cosmo honored my request. So to all of you guys out there who do not love feeling powerful: You’re welcome.

One more note on that story. Take a look at the headline. Notice anything odd? No sex position is naughty, so it’s a weird headline for a piece about sex-against-wall to begin with… But besides that. Notice anything else? Do you see the misspelling?


The ancient art of lovemaking. The incredible positions of kama sutra or karma sutera have been handed down through generations. Here are some photos of kama sutra.

These photos are snitched from kstang A Pathetic Attempt at karma sutra who in turn snitched them from some Turkish company manufacturing jeans. I tried hunting for the original website to give proper credit but unfortunately, I wasn’t able to locate it.

Karma sutra sounds as old as religious relics. It also sounds as innocent as silk and cocoon. (sutera means silk in Bahasa Malaysia) LOL.

So what exactly is karma sutra, other than the sexual connotations we have in our dirty little mind?

is an ancient Indian text on human sexual behavior, widely considered to be the standard work on love in Sanskrit literature. The text was composed by Vatsyayana, as a brief summary of various earlier works belonging to a tradition known generically as Kama Shastra, the science of love. Kama is literally desire. Sutra signfies a thread, or discourse threaded on a series of aphorisms. Sutra was a standard term for a technical text, thus also the Yogasutram of Patanjali. The text is originally known as Vatsyayana Kamasutram (”Vatsyayana’s Aphorisms on Love”). Tradition holds that the author was a celibate scholar. He is believed to have lived sometime between the 1st to 6th centuries AD, probably during the great cultural flowering of the Gupta period.

source wikipedia

Whoa!!!! That’s a mighty long history and mouthful of names to remember. Heck, it is so ancient, I think the parts are all rusty and mouldy. LOL. But it is nice to know that our great-great-great-great-great-great (enough greats yet?) have been very innovative back then, in their loin clothes, I suppose.

The splitting of the bamboo, the butterfly flick and the mare’s position are much more fun names to remember.

What Was Your Favorite Sexual Position in 2008?

Since most of you are coupled up, figuring out how to keep the fire burning is essential for a happy, long-lasting relationship. I know many people that make it a point to experiment in the bedroom to avoid a sex slump — a win-win if you ask me! — but even if you mix things up, I'll bet you still have a favorite position.

Slow-Sex Movement Guru: On Orgasms and Sex Positivity

"I’ve never actually met a woman who wasn’t orgasmic. I’ve met women who’ve put themselves against a cultural idea, but we orgasm differently from the model that we’re told orgasm is." This is the last post in a four-part series of interviews I had with Nicole Daedone, who is emerging as the leader of the slow-sex movement, and who founded the OneTaste urban retreat center in San Francisco.